I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone...– (via thelovewhisperer)
Something else is hurting you — that’s why you need pot or whiskey, or whips and...– Charles Bukowski (via girllikesappho)
thesockmonkeyrenegade: gracethelostgirl: lovewithyous: carolineflack: HOW DO YOU MAKE A GUY STOP TEXTING YOU HOW DO YOU MAKE A GUY START TEXTING YOU HOW DO YOU MAKE A GUY
As I look back on my life, I realize that every time I thought I was being...– Steve Maraboli (via pfelps)
I think too much. I think ahead. I think behind. I think sideways. I think it...– Winona Ryder (via arpeggia)
*Mom hands me phone to answer*
Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
Me: I have no mother.
Her: Well can I speak to your father?
Me: Yeah, which one?
Her: Which one is home?
Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
Her: So who's Antonio?
Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.
Her: So Carlos was cheating?
Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?
Me: I never said that.
Her: Yes, yes you did!
Me: No I didn't.
Her: Y-yes! You did!
Me: Did what?
Her: Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye.
salmiakkivodka: If dudes are expected to have a lot of sex But ladies are expected to stay virgins until marriage But homosexuality is bad I’m really confused who dudes are supposed to be having all that sex with